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Parental duties

Last saturday I took my daughter to the amusement park. Or what is left of it. Never worked 100%, not even opening day, back in the ages when I was a boy myself. But back to the topic, I had a long overdue task of taking my baby for a walk, something I avoid because the sun hurts me and the public transport is a problem in this city.

But eventually I had to.  Spending a couple of hours every saturday with her is not enough, so, to the park we went. Almost 4 hours that she split between riding the amusements without fear, or my shoulders (she doesnt walk). Very strong and independent, she wants to be left alone: "let me loose dad, Im not going to fall, Im holding here". She is too young to underestand that being a parent is mostly about fearing, and probably will only underestand when she has to care about their own children. And I cant avoid feeling scared and proud at same time.

It is something I no longer try to explain to non parents. The automatic love that starts at the very moment you know you are going to be father, that compensates things like not having shoes because a big chunk of salary goes to the baby, or getting home late and tired, as if you were in an special forces training instead of an amusement park. You cant underestand that, unless you are a parent yourself.

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